Not a mom blog

It wouldn’t be a slight exaggeration to say that becoming a parent 18 months ago has changed things. As someone who wasn’t sure she was going to be a mother- and never paid much attention to babies- it’s fair to say I was, and remain, a bit blindsided.

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I’m lucky to have a supportive group of friends and family who tried to prepare me and continue to offer lots of advice and help, but unless you have spent a lot of your life around infants and little kids, there are just some things that you can’t prepare yourself for. There are simply some things that I didn’t expect.

I didn’t expect that it would take us an average of four hours and four minutes to leave the house. I didn’t expect that I would compose really catchy songs with titles like, “First We Put on the Bunny Leg Warmers and Then We’ll Read Moby Dick,” “Naps Help Us Be Our Best Baby Selves,” and “No No No Not Sad.” IΒ didn’t realize spending money on toys is silly because his favorite toy in the world would be a coozie and I didn’t know that coozies can double as batting gloves when hitting dingers with your plastic bat.Β I didn’t anticipate that when we went to toddler story time at the library that while the other kids were singing songs in a circle, my child would be doing the worm in the corner and practicing his yelling voice.

I didn’t realize that spending 30 bucks on a whimsical hummingbird mobile and placing it above the diaper table would be a bad idea once he learned to stand (sorry about your beak, hummingbird.)

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And when I pulled this book out of the give-away bin at the school where I worked, and then apparently gave it to my parents to store for several years in their basement, I had no idea that in the not-too-distant future I would read it aloud at least 15 times a day.

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I didn’t know that he would always walk in the opposite direction that I wanted him to. I didn’t know that I could function on so little sleep. I scoffed when parent friends complained about daylights savings time on facebook. I didn’t know how easily I could give up on some of my germophobic tendencies when sometimes I watch him eat things off of the floor.

I didn’t realize that the tv was climbable.

I also had no idea that my heart would explode into a thousand pieces when he says my name. Or that we would be treated to nightly harmonica concerts which always end with him vigorously clapping for himself. Or that he would become fascinated with the moon. I didn’t know that I could be reduced to a puddle of goo by a laugh or a smile.Β And then it occurred to me that no one can prepare you for these things because these babies, these humans, are undpredictable, individual nuggets of personality. They are hilarious and trying and challenging and joyous. This is something that I can now tell you with all certainty.

And now, because the original intent of this blog was to be about food, let me offer a suggestion for lunch. Toast a few slices of good bread, spread some avocado on it, squeeze a lemon over it and sprinkle with (good) salt. I know it’s trendy, but it’s so simple, and so good, and you deserve a nourishing, easy lunch.

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Happy December, my friends. May you find joy in some simple things like toast and coozie batting gloves.